Kpopalypse roundup is back! Let’s take a look at some new releases!
Scan-dol of the week – Min (miss A).
Super Junior – Black Suit
It’s not too bad but with so few members in the group these days, there’s no excuse for this small amount of Shindong screen time. SM do his best to hide him away but he’s never looked better and you know it.
Block B – Shall We Dance
Having said that, spare a thought for the Jaehyo fans who stalk my blog as they got an even rougher deal here. This is the best Block B song since their early “Nalina” days, mainly because of the focus on rhythm first, plus they let an instrumental carry the chorus but without reverting to tropical shithouse like everybody else this year, and Jaehyo (who I always mistype as “Jawhyo” and have to fix every single time) pretty much isn’t even in it.
Monsta X – Dramarama
Doesn’t quite make the A grade but it’s probably one of Monsta X’s better songs and makes me wonder why Sistar never got anything that sounded quite like this.
Gugudan – Chococo
Recently I cut all refined sugars out of my diet completely except for special occasions like T-ara comebacks, dinner dates with my girlfriend and when I kill more than five players in a round of Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds. This song makes me feel like I made the right decision.
EXID – DDD
Starts off fantastically lurid like the best of Peaches or Miss Kittin & The Hacker, but by the time we get to the chorus it’s revealed itself structurally as typical EXID territory and no better or worse than their last few songs minus a bit of textural fucking around.
Seventeen – Clap
Play this week’s Block B song at half speed, and it sounds more or less like this. Good to hear more guitar riffs in k-pop though even if the song’s a bit absent.
Sonamoo – I (Knew It)
Basically a jittery, flamenco-ed up version of miss A’s “Good Bye Baby“, but that’s definitely not a bad thing.
Kim Sohee – SobokSobok
Why are there bunnies in a birdcage. Probably because the bunny would burrow into the ground and fuck off instead of being in this video otherwise I guess.
Victon – Remember Me
And there are some songs where they just launch into the bullshit sound straight away.
Gate 9 – Chemical
I think this is a debut song and like most debut songs it’s nothing all that exciting. The usual 2017 girl group template is adhered to.
BONUS SONGS
Urban Zakapa – When We Were New
Urban Zakapa are so shit. They’re the CSJH of “coffee shop” or whatever.
Black6ix – Like A Flower
The toot toots take a while to kick in here. You get about a minute and a half of actual music before it starts, so enjoy it.
Rothy – Stars
Lots of long lingering camera shots of the face of some girl who is pretty easy on the eye is nice but a song would also help.
Isu – My Way
It’s hard to get into the appropriate feel for this song when I keep wondering if “isu” is the Korean equivalent of the Japanese “iku”.
Janis – Ash
Ponderous nonsense like the worst western “art” groups, except also boring like a commercial ballad.
KOOKY AUNT GLASSES SPECIAL
G.Urban – Just Friend
Urban my ass, he’s got one of those glasses with the beaded necklace like your kooky aunt wears. Does he have matching crochet needles to go with that.
Divin’ – Deep In
Oh my god another guy with the kooky aunt glasses. What the fuck, is this actually a fashion in Korea to look like a 60 year old woman. Who said Korea is ageist, clearly they are wrong if this style is what’s hip with the young urban folks.
SPECIAL BONUS RETRO SONG
K.will – My Heart Beating
K.will had that one good song “Please Don’t” and everything else he ever did is poop. But check out this great video. Watching pre-jawshave IU play out some Alfred Hitchcock “Rear Window” style fantasy with that guy who got raped in last week’s Kan Mi Youn video is kind of cute. I really like IU’s pretend shyness here, and you can totally tell that it’s 100% acted and she’s absolutely not like that at all, which actually makes it really hot instead of just annoying. Shyness is glamorised in music videos all the time because it looks cute and gives men and women an actual context for their aegyo, but in reality shyness is just a pain in the fucking ass – both for the shy person who struggles to speak up directly to get what they desire, and for everyone else who is trying to work out what the fuck it is they want. Just say you want to gobble that boy-band member’s cock, it’s okay. The sky isn’t going to collapse on your head or anything.
That’s all for this week – more Kpopalypse roundup next week!