It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out some more new releases!
Scan-dol of the week – Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation)
Yves (Loona) – New
Easily the best Loona-related song thanks to some eclectic backing choices being given the foreground.
BTS – Mic Drop (Steve Aoki remix)
A BTS comeback in three steps. Step 1: Get Block B Bastarz’ great “Zero For Conduct“. Step 2: do a completely weak, pussy-ass version of it that goes about 20% as hard. Step 3: get some shit DJ to smooth out any last remaining traces of quality in the new version into generic boring mush. (Sorry I didn’t review this last week, but actual relevant releases always take priority over shitty remixes.)
BLK – Hero
Not much really happens here musically which is a shame because the basic building blocks are okay. Just one fucking chord change is probably all it would have taken to get this one over the line.
Rain – Gang
This song is just like that leather vest Rain wears in the chorus. It’s seriously missing some decent material.
Fromis_9 – Glass Shoes
Did you know that the uniforms that the girls are wearing in the chorus would cost over $1000 each if you bought them on the Steam marketplace for your PUBG character?
1NB – Where U At
Rated 19+, you say? I don’t even see any nipple. Pathetic.
BONUS SONGS
Hey Men – Jelly
With a name like that I thought it was going to be Jimin’s backup dancers debuting, but instead it’s jsut some dull rock group. Oh well.
Hey Girls – No (No One But You)
Holy shit check out the female version though, this group actually has a dead-ringer vocally for Jimin.
Jackson Wang – Okay
Jackson pretty much takes a shower for the entire duration of the video, which tells you all you need to know about the quality of the lyricism here.
Busters – Lalala
The song is almost there but it just lacks a little in the sensible melodic choice department.
Busters – Dream On
Their other song is just a little too boring.
Blah Blah – Good Job
This week is the week of girl group debuts that almost are good songs but not quite.
Lee Ha Rin – A Strange Day
Typical ballad written to the typical ballad formula.
Huh Gak – Only You
How can I trust a singer whose name sounds like I’m coughing up half a lung.
Shin Seung Hun – Polaroid
Nope.
Ludens – some shit idk
In League Of Legends there’s an item called Luden’s Echo and it’s honestly pretty overpowered but I’m probably not going to use it ever again because I don’t want to give this shit group any free promo.
Naul – Emptiness In Memory
I SEE YOU SLIPPING IN THAT CHRISTIAN BULLSHIT AT THE END. YOU CAN’T GET PAST ME WITH THAT SHIT
Jun.k – more jun.k
I keep making the same joke about the song being a bunch of jun.k every time this guy does a new song and I know it’s boring but if he’s going to keep doing the same fucking shit then so am I.
Wilcox ft. Boni – Rose
Wilcox is always crap.
Dalda – Sweet Talk
EDIT: this song was so boring that I posted this roundup before I even remembered to add a sentence here about how shit it is.
Kodi Green, McAilley – View
This Han Seo Hee lookalike is very watchable but the song is just some boring trip-hop thing.
Special note for JY fans
I couldn’t be assed trying to embed her stupid videos in here, they’ll be deleted in a week anyway like everything else she does. Just take my word for it that she never does anything interesting, because she really doesn’t. Snore.
SPECIAL RETRO BONUS SONG
After School – Shampoo
Raina wanting to be in the Kool K-pop Klub for Kool Kids is the story of every k-pop hopeful. If my blog was a thing in 2011 she definitely would have been the no-reason sidebar girl for that year.
That’s all for this week’s roundup! The new releases are really starting to dry up, so this probably will be the final roundup for 2017! Don’t worry however, if your fave got missed out through the year, you’ll still get your chance for it to have a snarky one-sentence non-review as I do various other review posts for 2017! Kpopalypse will return!